She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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