I'd wear matching sweaters with you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
