I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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