dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
