shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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