Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
