I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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