So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
