So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
