The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
another moral hangover. fuck.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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