I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
