tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
