Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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