He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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