Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
