The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
