3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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