there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
