I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
