i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
