Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize