naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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