i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I party with great urgency now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
