You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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