do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
