What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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