i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
