Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
youre lurking in front of me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
