we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
