I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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