Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
