he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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