I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
