I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize