singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
