its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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