btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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