so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
