we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
