I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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