Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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