How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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