is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
