How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
