my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?