sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Jerry, you need to find god
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.