Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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