I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
