You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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