I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
