my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
