Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have aggressive nipples.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
false alarm, still single
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize