ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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