yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
