She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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