I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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