I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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