1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
