he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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